I always love flowers, and their varying colors, scents and sizes. It doesn’t matter if they’re sold with dollar prices, or just easily negligible along the grasses, they would always stand out to my sight.
That is why I was so devastated when one day, I found one of my favorite sights, the Violet family as I call them, ruined. They were trampled by many feet owned by people who were obviously mindless about the beauty before, or rather below, them. You see, I have a special connection with this “family” because they always “greet” me every morning each time I pass them by on my way to work. This ornamental plant adorned the walls outside PRO7, and it is always a treat to see the soft purple color peeking out from the buds. At times, I stop on my way just to marvel at each petal, and I linger upon the feel of their smooth and soft nature on my fingers.
It was a day after the city-wide festival that I found out their pitiful state. Many of the violet leaves mercilessly torn from the mother plant were scattered along with the remains of cigarette sticks, plastic cups, candy and junk food wrappers. One could almost believe it would be the end of the Violet family, because most of them were really unrecognizable. In my heart, I prayed that they would grow again, and that its caretakers would plow the soil for them and water them so that they can be revived. But at the same time, my heart was bleeding because I know it was a hopeless case.
That was about a month ago. Caught up with my own concerns, I hadn’t taken time to look at them again until this morning. I was so delighted to see they have in fact re-grown! I realized many of those scattered dead leaves and stems decomposed to become fertilizer for the new life of the Violet family. They may have a painful past, but the event became instrumental for their brand new life, so that once again, they can bring out the beauty that their Creator wanted them to display.
The realization made me look at my life. I’ve just been through a week where guilt and failure had strongly pushed me down. There were things I know I should do but didn’t do. There were people I want to please but know I shouldn’t have to. There were cares and concerns that I tried to escape but just keep coming into view. I want to tell many people that they have to accept I am human, and I also fail, and I can also be angry, but even I can’t embrace that.
Everyday my prayer would always be that God will increase His grace to sustain me as I keep on. I want to be comforted at the fact that though I failed, He still would accept me, and His love for me hadn’t changed. My prayer time and Bible reading were consistent, but they were cold moments, as though God and me were just sitting still beside each other, but mindless about each other’s presence. I longed to understand His love once again, to embrace His grace, and receive His mercy.
Then just this morning, I realized that I cannot fully understand the love of God apart from my humanity, sinfulness and failure. It is because of my imperfect state that I can fully grasp what His mercy is all about, because I am dependent of it. It was humbling to note that I have to embrace my humanity because only by then would I appreciate more clearly what His love, forgiveness and compassion is.
I have to confess that I have sinned, and that ever and time again, only He can cleanse me and make me new again. A passage on God’s mercy being new every morning (Lam. 3:22-23) came to my thoughts. Yes, I said, every day is a brand new day, and I should see it as such, and live in such as well. So, from being remorseful, I started thanking God instead for all along, He had been lavishing His grace such that I came to a point of appreciating I am human, and He is God but He still loves me. I know, only God’s grace is able to do that.
So in that brand new beautiful morning, the Violet family was a confirmation that God is able to re-create every old thing into brand new being such that no trace of the old is ever left. It’s basically from death to life – that’s how God exactly works.
Charyl “Em-Em” Azarcon works as a volunteer for the High School Minirtry of InterVarsity – Inter-School High School Ministry.
